People get really nervous when I tell them I want to be replaceable.

It seems like everyone hears that Beyoncé song in their heads (to the left, to the left) and things I've lost some of my marbles.

Hear me out, reader. You know I'm going somewhere.

I want to be replaceable in my...

If anyone knows me well, they'd be the first to bring my dark and dirty secrets to light. Don't worry, my sweet, dear friends. I'll spare you the temptation and tell on myself this time. 

I'm messy. Okay, fine. I'm a little more than messy—I'm a little bit of a slob and maybe a tiny...